COMEDY SHOWS

I'll be Upstairs at the Lobster Loft in Sea Isle City NJ on Saturday night, July 6th. Call 609 263 3000 to make reservations.

Then TWO FUNNY PHILLY GUYS with myself and the amazing Joe Conklin will be ripping it up at the Cape May Comedy Festival on Friday night, July 26th.  To get tickets, go to http://cmcfest.com .

TRIVIA

I'm back again at PJ Whelihans in Maple Shade NJ for Tuesday nights with the Phils!  It's my 6th year.  5th inning quiz and great prizes.

QUIZZO!

NEW QUIZZO TIME every Wednesday night at 5 PM at Champps in King of Prussia.  Be there or be square!

I'm at TOM & JERRY'S at 1006 McDade Blvd. in Milmont Park PA every Thursday for Quizzo at 8 pm.  Come on out!  I'm on my 3rd year there!

My daughter Ava is at Rocco's Italian Grill & Sports Bar on Union St in Wilmington every Monday night for QUIZZO.  New start time at 730!   Unbelievable food.

My daughter Ava is running a Quizzo nite every Thursday night at 7pm at the Lobster Loft in Sea Isle.  Fun place!

LSA SUITES & EVENTS

If you're looking for a suite or an amazing ticket to any game or event in town, give my man Phil a call at 856 845 1766 or send him an e-mail at phil@lsaus.com  or check out their website at http://lsaus.com.

20/20 SONG LIST!

I'm looking for the 20 greatest songs of this century that will still be played 20 years from now.  The only rule is that although I have tons of obscure songs on my Ipod, the song you nominate can't be.   By the way, one song per artist. And of course, you have to love the song yourself.  Here's what we have so far in I-Pod alphabetical order:

TRY AGAIN...	Aaliyah   (Adam’s Pick)
ROLLING IN THE DEEP...	Adele
FALLIN’...	Alicia Keys (Adam & Big Daddy’s Pick)
TOO CLOSE...	Alex Clare (Adam’s Pick)
REHAB...	Amy Winehouse
CRAZY IN LOVE...	Beyonce (with Jay Z)
I GOTTA FEELING...	Black Eyed Peas
GOLD ON THE CEILING...	Black Keys
ALL THE SMALL THINGS...	Blink 182 (Adam’s Pick)
JUST THE WAY YOU ARE...	Bruno Mars
BEFORE HE CHEATS...	Carrie Underwood
FUCK YOU...	Cee Lo Green
HOLIDAE IN...	Chingy
BEAUTIFUL...	Christina Aguilera
A THOUSAND YEARS...	Christina Perri
FIX YOU...	Coldplay
I BELIEVE IN A THING CALLED LOVE...	The Darkness
I’M SHIPPING UP TO BOSTON...	Dropkick Murphys
LOSE YOURSELF...	Eminem
ALL MY LIFE...	Foo Fighters
PUMPED UP KICKS...	Foster The People
STACY’S MOM...	Fountains of Wayne
TAKE ME OUT...	Franz Ferdinand
WE ARE YOUNG...	Fun
SOMEONE THAT YOU USED TO KNOW...	Gotye
BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS...	Green Day
HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?...	The Heavy
HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO...	Hives
I LOVE IT...	Icona Pop
DRIVE...	Incubus (Adam’s Pick)
BAD THINGS...	Jace Everett
I WON’T GIVE UP...	Jason Mraz
EMPIRE STATE OF MIND...	Jay Z (with Alica Keys)
ARE YOU GONNA BE MY GIRL...	Jet
WAITING FOR THE WORLD TO CHANGE...	John Mayer
HURT...	Johnny Cash
SEXYBACK...	Justin Timberlake
GOLDDIGGER...	Kanye West
I KISSED A GIRL...	Katie Perry
MR. KNOW IT ALL...	Kelly Clarkson
ALL SUMMER LONG...	Kid Rock
WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG...	Killers
USE SOMEBODY...	Kings of Leon
BLACK HORSE & THE CHERRY TREE...	KT Tunstall
NEED YOU NOW...	Lady Antebellum
POKERFACE...	Lady Gaga
BREAK STUFF...	Limp Bizkit (Adam & Big Daddy’s Pick)
NUMB...	Linkin Park (Adam’s Pick)
HEAVEN...	Los Lonely Boys
HO HEY...	The Lumineers
MUSIC...	Madonna
WAKE UP CALL...	Maroon 5
TIME TO PRETEND...	MGMT (Adam’s Pick)
PAPER PLANES...	M.I.A
HAVEN’T MET YOU YET...	Michael Buble
FLOAT ON...	Modest Mouse
LITTLE LION MAN...	Mumford and Sons
MADNESS...	Muse (Adam & Big Daddy’s Pick)
HOT IN HERRE...	Nelly (Adam’s Pick)
ANIMAL...	Neon Trees
EVERY DAY IS EXACTLY THE SAME...	NIN
UNDERNEATH IT ALL...	No Doubt
HEY YA...	Outkast
MS. JACKSON...	Outkast (Adam’s pick)
NINE IN THE AFTERNOON...	Panic At The Disco
JUST BREATHE...	Pearl Jam
1901...	Phoenix
WHO KNEW...	Pink
STEADY, AS SHE GOES...	The Raconteurs (Adam’s Pick)
CAN’T STOP...	Red Hot Chili Peppers (Adam & Big Daddy’s Pick)
UMBRELLA...	Rhianna (Adam’s Pick)
LOVE SONG...	Sara Barellias
LAST NIGHT...	The Strokes
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY...	U2
SEVEN NATION ARMY...	The White Stripes
Send your picks to bigdaddy295@aol.com

HEY! I'M LOOKING FOR ALBUM COVERS. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE CONDITION OF THE VINYL...

Check out this cool video featuring NBA Rookie of the Year, Kyrie Irving...

RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 5/31

The legendary Brian Whalen asked me what the 10 greatest Led Zeppelin songs were... a daunting challenge! I'm gonna time myself and see how fast I can write this... it's 6:45 pm... I am in hiding but I think they have found out where I am so it's only a matter of time before they find me... In the infamous Playboy interview that got Jesse Ventura in all that trouble ("religion is a crutch for the weak"), he was asked what music does he listen to and the Governor replied "I listen to Zeppelin and Zeppelin only... I'm gonna give you the 10 songs that I have listened to the most in my lifetime... there's just no other way to properly do it... If I have played these 10 more than the others there must be a reason... It pains me to leave so many off but that's the fun isn’t it, eh? These are in NO ORDER...

1. SINCE I'VE BEEN LOVING YOU... Plant's greatest vocal ever and Zep at their most dramatic (Kashmir and Levee are dramatic also but SINCE is a simple blues that Zep turns into a grandiose epic)... If I ever found out I had cancer again I am going to stand on top of a volcano with an ipod strapped to me playing SINCE at a volume so loud that my ears will be bleeding as I jump into the pit of molten lava...
2. COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN... I embraced the whole punk movement when it happened and still think BULLOCKS is a masterpiece... But BREAKDOWN rivals anything the Pistols or the Clash ever recorded... SUFFER!
3. I CAN'T QUIT YOU BABE...
4. HOW MANY MORE TIMES... I easily could list the entire Zep debut and be done with it but these 3 are inseparable and as amazing as side 2 of Abbey Road... If CDs and LPs had some sort of odometer on it that could tell you how many times you've played it there would be no doubt that I played Zep 1 more that any other record ever created... I was once in on a beachhouse in Strathmere NJ with 27 drunken losers... It was the Tuesday after Labor Day and the town was empty... I was royally fucked up on God knows what and I was in the house BY MYSELF blasting Zep 1 so loud people were calling the cops as far away as Camden complaining about the noise... Strathmere didn't have a police force so the staties had to come... I was standing on top of a coffee table air guitaring when a flashlite began blinding me... I looked down and there were 2 cops in the living room... To tell you the truth they were petrified... Based on the noise level they were expecting to break up some huge jam, not one lunatic all by himself... The cop pulled the plug on the stereo and not only told me to go to bed but that if he had to come back again he was GONNA FUCK ME UP! True story
5. THE OCEAN... That time change at the end destroys me every time...
6. HEARTBREAKER... Who else but Page would stop a song midway and play an "acappela" guitar solo? I dont know how to spell acappela and i'm not even sure if the word applies here...
7. ROCK & ROLL... Bonham had some nerve dying on us...
8. STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN... The most played song ever and it still harpoons me like a whale. Majestic. Dynamic. Awesome. Grab a word. Paul McCartney once answered critics of the white album who thought it would have been a better single record than a double by replying "fuck you~it's the white album." The same applies here to anyone who's sick of the song or thinks it's overrated... “Fuck you... it's STAIRWAY!"
9. DANCING DAYS...
10. HOUSE OF THE HOLY... Irresistible hooks...

THAT TOOK 24 MINUTES...

RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 5/23

Here's my latest article for the Sea Isle Times

MY 10 FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT THE JERSEY SHORE 2013 EDITION!

Here we go again!  This all started three years ago and you shore rats appear to have a lot of fun with this, so here comes this summer’s version.  But first, here is the last couple years to recap:

2011 List

10. NOT WORKING
9.  IT’S CLOSE
8.  THE WILDWOOD TRAMCAR
7.  LUCY THE ELEPHANT
6.  THE 50’S STYLE MOTELS IN WILDWOOD CREST
5.  THE OCEAN CITY BOARDWALK
4.  THE BRIDGE BETWEEN SEA ISLE AND AVALON
3.  HIDING FROM THE BEACH TAG POLICE
2.  DRINKING
1.  CHICKS!

2012 List

10. WALKING  (Meaning no driving!)
9.   LISTENING TO A BALLGAME ON THE BEACH
8.   CHECKING OUT THE “SIGHTS” ON BINOCULARS
7.   RIDING BIKES
6.   DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
5.   PARTYING IN A HOUSE WHERE NO ONE’S ON THE LEASE
4.   BUMPING INTO PRO ATHLETES AT THE CLUBS
3.   GREAT COVER BANDS
2.   PARTYING IN GARAGES
1.   CHICKS!  (Some thing never change)

BRAND SPANKIN’ NEW 2013 VERSION!

10.  OUTDOOR BARS... This scene has really exploded over the last 10 years.  Almost every bar and restaurant in town has one now.  What do I love about them?  Two things.  One, they have live entertainment starting at four on the afternoon which means additional work for musicians and more drunk sing-a-long versions of “Sweet Caroline.”  And two?  It used to be there would be times where you would briefly question yourself over why you were working on your fourth Miller Lite inside a bar at three in the afternoon when it was a gorgeous day outside.  Even drunks have some code of ethics.  Now you can sit in the sun, get a tan, and order up another round of carbombs and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

9.  OUTDOOR SHOWERS... My buddy Mike who lives in Sewell has an outdoor shower.  What a novel idea.  Why don’t we all have one at home?  We all have them down the shore, right?  Who doesn’t love an outdoor shower?  They’re so cool.  Only drawback?  I just don’t have the heart to tell my neighbor that his singing sucks.

8.  SKEEBALL... I have always loved Skeeball.  To this day, I’ll be stumbling home from the Commodore Club and I just can’t resist stopping in the neighboring arcade and blowing 10 bucks on this insane and wonderful game.  I’ve often asked myself why do I do this and then it dawns on me.  It’s those spider rings!

7.  FISHING OFF BRIDGES... I will often be leaving Wildwood Crest or AC late after some gig.  Like 230, 3am late.  I’ll be driving over one of the Ocean Drive bridges and there he’ll be.  One guy.  By himself.  Fishing off the bridge where the cars drive by literally inches away from his keister.  Cooler full of beers.  A sandwich or two.  I’ll often wonder.  What is it he’s catching?  Has he ever caught anything?

6.  JITNEYS... What a tremendous idea these were.  I jumped on a jitney last summer with a guy I went to high school with that I haven’t seen since I graduated.  Sea Isle’s such a small wonderful world, isn’t it?  Unfortunately, I borrowed a dollar off him during senior year in the cafeteria and he hadn’t forgotten.

5.  WINDSURFING... Is there anything cooler than these athletic wonders riding the waves and sailing through the air and over the water and doing all sorts of flips?  Uh, yeah, sitting in your chair with a cold beverage and watching these dudes do it.

4.  FALLING ASLEEP ON DECKS... It takes a minute or two for you to realize where you are.  What is that bright thing in the sky waking me up?  Why am I burning up like a lobster?  Why am I still in all my clothes?  Why is there a mountain of beer cans next to my head?  Just where the heck am I?  Then it dawns on you.  “Geez, I never made it off the deck.”  Then this scary realization hits you like a ton of bricks.  You don’t even know whose deck you’re on!

3.  LOOKING FOR MONEY ON BEACH... It’s nice to know there are certain things you can always rely on in life.    Secret Service No Shower Happy Hour.    Your kid wanting yet another Fudgie-Wudgie.  Mile long lines at our Wawa.  The Eagles not winning a Super Bowl. And always, always, some knucklehead  with a Geiger counter on a stick looking for money, jewelry, bobby pins, and god knows on your beach.  Exactly how much money do they go home with?  $1.37?

2.  SUNSETS & SUNRISES... The positive aspect of a sunset on the bay in Sea Isle is that the town is so narrow it actually affects the ocean.  It gives it a pinkish hue that I just love.  So how could there be a negative associated with a gorgeous sunrise on the ocean?  Well, the very fact that you’re witnessing this beautiful sight usually means that you’ve been up all night partying and that signals you’re gonna feel as horrible as someone listening to Howard Eskin the rest of the day.

1.  CHICKS... (You were expecting something else?)

The Worst Movie Theater in the World
Congratulations, Philadelphia, it’s right in our back yard
By Big Daddy Graham   7/16/2010 

And the winner is?  The UA Riverview on Columbus Blvd.  I wish there was a plaque or a trophy I could give them because they have so earned it.  The experience is so bad, it’s actually comical.

Often throughout my 14-year career as overnight host at WIP, I have been stuck in a time no-man’s land. I will have just finished performing at a private party in Pennsylvania.  It might be 1030 p.m. I have to figure out if it is worth it for me to drive all the way back into Jersey, just to get back in the car at 1 a.m. to drive back to City Ave., which is where WIP is located.

The UA Riverview is the one theater in our area that actually starts movies as late as 11 p.m. Throw in the 20 minutes of previews and if you can get there by 11:15 p.m., you’re good to go.  So  often I have made the decision to chill out and watch a flick at the UA,  instead of making the haul back home only to come back over the bridge.

CHILL might not exactly be the correct word to describe the experience of seeing a movie at the UA. It’s the one theater where the action in the seats often outshines the action on the screen. First of all, everybody talks like there’s no movie going on at all, or even better, the audience often talks TO the screen:

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
DON’T GO UP THERE, GIRLFRIEND!
DAMN, WHAT A BAD ASS!

Violent movies are very well received. Vicious deaths are met with healthy cheers and rounds of applause. Don’t even THINK of seeing a romantic comedy. The audience will get so bored they’ll start talking to each other ON THEIR CELLPHONES if they have a friend they know is only a few aisles away. I’ve even seen some crowds take “romance” into their own hands as once I sat three rows behind a guy receiving oral sex in his seat while there was lovemaking going on up on the screen at the same time. NOW THAT’S 3D!

I know you must be thinking why I find this all so funny, but believe me, I know what I’m in for when I go there. There would be nobody to complain to anyway.

Today I had an appointment at Jefferson Hospital that ended at 5 p.m. I had to be at Tom & Jerry’s which is in Delaware County, no later than 8 p.m. With traffic, there is a very good chance that I would not have made it home till 6:30 p.m., just to hang for less than an hour before I would have to drive over the Commodore Barry back into PA. So, maybe I could just go to a movie and forget fighting all that traffic.

Well, none of the times worked out right for anything I wanted to see at any of the Ritz theaters. The UA, however, has so many screens (and good one’s I might add) that there was a 5:30 p.m. Predators — and I’m a huge Walton Goggins fan.  I figured I might be able to get away with this, there might not be anyone there at this time on a Thursday.

I pay my $9 and find my screen. That, by the way, takes some doing since the usher cat tells you a screen number but there’s no sign telling you what theater is playing what. I find my screen, and my hunch pays off. It was empty. Maybe eight people.

Now one of the drawbacks from my radiation treatments is that my throat is painfully dry all the time. I’m constantly drinking these Ensures and sipping on soda. Water doesn’t cut it, it stinks. So I go out in the lobby to get a soda while the previews are on and there is no concession stand on the second floor. I have to take this giant escalator back to the first floor. It’s like being in a casino.

I ask the concession stand chick, who never looks at me once, for a small Coke. I reach back to pull some cash out of my pocket and when I turn around she says, “That will be $4.75.”  Politely, I remind her I asked for a small.  ”THAT IS A SMALL, MISTER.”  The “small” turns out to be as big as a bucket. Even the straw is, like, two feet high. It’s so big that I won’t be able to even take it to the car with me later because there’s not a cup holder in the world big enough to hold it. Unless NASA has designed one I missed out on.  I am way too tired to argue or ask for my money back, so into the theater I go with a “small” soda that you have to put on the floor because their own cupholders can’t handle it.

The movie begins and 10 minutes in a couple comes in with enough food and drink to feed Cambodia and sits DIRECTLY BEHIND ME and begins to argue. There are HUNDREDS of empty seats and they sit DIRECTLY BEHIND ME. Do I move? Of course not. I play another hunch that their argument will be more entertaining than Predators and guess what?  I was right.

Another fine movie-going experience at the good ol’ UA.

RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 5/12

Random thoughts about my mother...

She loved music... When the Beatles started giving lyrics to their albums it was always a tradition for us to read them together when she first would buy the record for me... She rarely cried but cried to the song "She's Leaving Home"... We saw the Rolling Stones, Donna Summer, Genesis, Stevie Wonder, Gladys Knight and many others together... She gave me many important heavy-duty books for me to read like Catcher in the Rye and Lord of the Flies when I was in the fifth grade... By the time I got to high school I'd already read all the assigned books... I understand why she married my dad but I do not understand why she stayed with him after he got back from the war... I get it, that was just what you did back then and she probably had some sense of loyalty to him but her life would've just been so much better and that's ultimately all I care about... She loved peanut brittle and Goldenberg peanut chews... and Laura's fudge from Wildwood... I broke her heart when I dropped out of college but she never stopped loving me... When I was a drummer she came to all the bands shows... When I was an actor she came to all of those shows... But she could not bear to watch me do standup - too much pressure... We used to have huge water pistol fights... I bought her a dictionary for a Mother's Day present many moons ago and she read it every day - who reads the dictionary? She smoked tiny packs of Chesterfields but gave them up when my dad used them as an excuse for him to drink... She never took a penny that wasn't hers -  ever... When she was 15 she used to go to Atlantic City and dance all night to the big bands... When I was little I would get these colossal ear aches and crawl up next to her in the middle of the night... She never learned how to drive... I bought her a washer and dryer and when the truck pulled up to drop them off she sent the truck back saying she didn't want them... Did I forget to mention what a great grandmother she was? Whenever we would drop my daughters off to my mother’s house she wouldnt just sit there and watch them, she would teach them something like how to tie their shoes or take them to the library... I went to my own library today in honor of my mother...

I miss her horribly every day....

RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 5/6

Would you pitch Doc again?

Can you suggest an elliptical brand other than Nordic or Sole?

Anyone ever see a flick called THE LAST QUARTET?

Loved it in the movies but on 2nd viewing DJANGO is really slow...

Dreamed the ghost of my dad appeared to me & I punched him...

Just ate a bag of York Peppermint Patties & my breath is minty fresh!

HANNIBAL is turning into a really good show - Now I'm hungry...

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